Lasting relationships aren’t one sided. Instead, both partners must be deeply committed. Hence, relationships must be mutual.
This blog post contains my personal LinkedIn posts for August 1 through August 7, 2022.
What’s Enough?
That is, how wealthy or un-wealthy did you feel while growing up?
There are other aspects of family life, like emotional and spiritual nurture. Also vital is stability (e.g., no trauma from drugs, alcohol, abuse).
I do because I believe I can! proverbsforprofessionals.net
Today’s Observation: “Enough” is relative. My parents wanted things to be better for me and my sister than what they had as children and as adults. They worked hard to provide us a better life.
The Precept: Solomon reflected: I was taught by my father and loved by my mother. Thus, I learned the value of life’s precepts. Proverbs 4.3-4, paraphrase.
Are there specific issues from childhood that had an impact on your early years as an adult?
I used that later in life
The skills from an after-school job were valuable.
I learned how to operate a small business. I was given extra responsibilities, and eventually ran my own store.
Learning about day-to-day operations was important for me when I became an associate dean, responsible for the internal activities of a business school.
We are, right now, the persons some others aspire to be, even while we ourselves aspire to become an even better version of what’s currently our best self! proverbsforprofessionals.net
Today’s Observation: Any job can be a learning experience if we’re open to new knowledge.
The Precept: Those who prepare themselves enjoy the benefits of that preparation later in life. Proverbs 22.29, paraphrase.
In what way did a high school job impact your career as an adult?
Relationships must be intentional
We must be intentional about building relationships.
Why? Because they don’t happen accidentally.
Or, because we happen to live together.
To be intentional, be present.
Be aware of what’s happening around us.
Here’s a simple formula for a fulfilled life:
1). Know yourself (WHO) then
2). Be yourself (WHY) by
3). Using your unique voice (HOW).
That best self is certainly effective in relationship building.
Today’s Observation: Find out what’s happening. Stop what you’re doing. Pause what’s distracting you. So, Interact. Ask. Listen.
The Precept: Ruth 2.13 is a conversation between two people who later became husband and wife. She mentions his friendliness in speaking to her heart.
What helps you build intentional relationships?
Relationships must be mutual
Lasting relationships aren’t one-sided.
Both partners must be committed to the relationship.
Both must offer emotional support.
There must be common ground.
Else one consumes the other.
One stops being who they are to satisfy the other.
Mutual submission doesn’t mean one partner stops existing as a person!
For example, you go to a family reunion. Who do you avoid? The uncle or brother-in-law who talks constantly about himself!
They have nothing to give back; they’re self-consumed.
If we believe we deserve better, we should first BE better, then DO better by being assertive! proverbsforprofessionals.net
Today’s Observation: Shallow character doesn’t produce relationships that are mutually beneficial.
The Precept: Ephesians 5.14-21 teaches that mutually beneficial relationships are based on awareness, careful use of our time, doing God’s will, avoiding excesses, and being an encourager.
What practices help you build relationships that benefit others?
Introvert Tip: Relationship Building
As an introvert, I’ve never had a bunch of friends.
My relationships have focused on family and professional contacts.
Ha, never the life of the party!
So, what worked for me?
1). Be intentional about networking
2). Recognize my time limits in a given setting
3). Have objectives for conversations; don’t wing it
4). Ask questions so the other person talks more
5). Get better at expressing interest and empathy
Our greatest impact on others comes at the point of our individual distinctiveness – our highest point of contribution. So, know your value proposition and place your focus there! proverbsforprofessionals.net
Today’s Observation: Introverts can build a circle of meaningful relationships by being intentional, while also being selective.
If you’re an introvert, what’s work to help you manage your circle of relationships?
My worst relationship advice
Here’s how to damage a relationship:
1). It’s all about me, my problems, my viewpoint.
Well, NO it’s not!
2). Having only a few friends is bad.
No, a select few, close relationships can be good.
3). I’m telling.
Violating trust is destructive to any relationship.
4). Mom (or dad) is always right, with no exceptions.
OK for them, but disruptive to other family members.
5). This isn’t repairable.
Maybe it isn’t. Maybe there’s another way forward.
6). You always. You never.
Sweeping generalizations will take you nowhere.
7). Why can’t you…?
Because that’s not who I am, that’s why!
What would you add to this list?
Accepting wise counsel, say in regard to relationships, requires us to have the discernment to recognize advisors who are themselves – wise! proverbsforprofessionals.net
Relationships must grow
I contribute to a relationship when I’m growing.
When I stop growing I endanger the relationship.
Why? Because if my partner/friend is growing, while I’m not growing, we move apart.
The overflow from a growing life gives out to others.
That overflow is the basis for solid relationships.
We don’t grasp what’s most beneficial in life until we release what’s not adding value. Releasing frees up capacity for grasping the beneficial! proverbsforprofessionals.net
Today’s Observation: When both partners in a relationship stop growing, the common ground between them quickly becomes outdated. There’s nothing new, or fresh, or living to spark interest.
The Precept: From Mark 5.19 we learn that we’re to share with friends how our lives have been healed emotionally and spiritually.
How do you view this link between your own growth and stronger relationships?
