How we respond to being told NO is important. This blog post answers the question: Where can NO lead me?
Introduction
Deep desire is a great motivator. In fact, our desires can push us forward in the face of life challenges.
But, what happens when your deep desire is met with an emphatic NO? How do you respond? What must happen in order for you to move forward?
Let’s assume you don’t fold up and quit. Now what? Well, the “Now What” helps answer the question: Where Can NO Lead Me?
Never forget that rather overused, but painfully true observation: “What got you here will not get you there!” Thus, we must continue to grow personally and professionally. proverbsforprofessionals.net
My Career Story
I made a mid-life career change because I was really struggling. That change involved retraining that took several years. How so? I went back to school to get a Ph.D.
More importantly, the transition was successful in addressing some of the challenges I faced earlier in my career.
That mid-life change brought me an enjoyable 30-year career.
About halfway through that time block I made another change. The change involved moving from being a college faculty member to being a college administrator.
Again, the change was a productive move personally and professionally.
A few years into my role as administrator I accepted an interim assignment. It opened my eyes to new possibilities for my career. I decided to pursue that other career option.
How so? I applied for the job for which I was interim. Guess what? I was told NO!
Living a proactive life of intentionality doesn’t mean that we control, or even influence, every one of our life outcomes. Thus, the importance of persistence and flexibility. proverbsforprofessionals.net
How To Respond
I suspect a number of you have heard NO in response to a deep desire. At that point, you’re at a crossroads. As in: How do I respond? Where do I go from here?
Your response is critical. Why? Because an appropriate response positions you to find the answer to “Where Can NO Lead Me?”
The short version of how this played out for me is that I chose to continue my professional development. As such, I was very intentional about pursuing additional growth opportunities.
Also, I worked with a mentor who once told me I was “a diamond in the rough.”
Ouch! All this time I thought I was an undiscovered genius who was ready to take on and transform the world. Ugh, actually taking on the world wasn’t the case at all!
Eventually though, I was able to move into that desired position.
From Proverbs 24.16 we learn that our integrity gives us the energy to keep getting back up after we fail multiple times. Hence, resilience is a powerful character trait. proverbsforprofessionals.net
What I Learned
Ok, so where can NO lead me? Here are some takeaways for me:
1). Get Real – What we think about ourselves personally and professionally often isn’t based on reality. When we Get Real we must accept that we’re not as prepared professionally as we would like to believe we are.
Reality checks are unpleasant, but Get Real can be transformational.
2). Get Ready – Rather than crawl into a hole when our deep desire is blocked, we must be intentional about continuing our personal and professional growth. Thus, when you hear about areas where you need to grow, do something about it! Find a way to build that needed skillset. For example, during one of my interim assignments I asked for a 360-review in order to get anonymous feedback. It was a good decision.
Get Ready by acting on revealed gaps in your capabilities.
3). Get Running – Being a high performer in one role doesn’t guarantee you’re adequately positioned to move up to the next role. That is, the skill set and mindset that makes you good in one job very often isn’t enough to move you forward to the next position. I was really good at managing internal operations. However, for the position I wanted, that skill was necessary, but simply inadequate by itself.
For me personally, I had to Get Running by becoming much more externally focused.
Some Takeaways
Resilience is a wonderful trait. But, we must pair resilience with discernment in regard to needed changes in our personal and professional demeanor.
Don’t ask for advice, then ignore the advice. Instead, choose to grow.
Don’t be a victim. No one cares that it hurt your feelings when you were told NO.
Do get up! Find another way forward! Stop whining and feeling sorry for yourself!
Do continue to invest in personal and professional growth. In so doing, you position yourself to enjoy deep desire when the opportunity presents itself.