What follows are some personal reflections of myself, specifically about my life as an introvert! This post is written looking back over my 70+ years of living.
Discovering Introversion
For much of my life I was not aware of my leaning toward introversion. As a result, like many others, I assumed something was deficient about me.
I first took the Myers-Briggs as a Ph.D. student, so I was in my late 30’s before I had some specifics to work from about my personality type.
Unsurprisingly, I am an ISTJ on the Myers-Briggs, where the “I” is introvert. The other letters describe someone who is factual, analytical, and not especially intuitive.
Thus, I’m less inclined to go with my gut on issues, preferring instead that which is rational, factual, and logical.
Who I Was
Conversely, I was anything but shy growing up. As a teenage I was loud, impulsive, and at times less than discrete.
That awkwardness was complicated by being temperamental. Thus, I lacked some very basic social skills. Perhaps I was covering for other concerns, such as my perception of my appearance, not being athletic, and my family’s status.
More specifically, my situation growing up as an introvert was complicated, I believe, by being from what was at best a middle-class family. As a result, I was less self-confident than I should have been, struggling with a poor self-image.
Having fairly good grades in school did not seem to make up the difference. I never sat at the cool kids table in junior high or high school. Instead, I had a very narrow set of friends at school and church.
I started working part-time in high school, so wasn’t involved in any extracurricular school activities beyond band in the 10th grade.
What I’ve Heard About Me
I suspect I can come across as aloof to some and perhaps intimidating to others.
One reason I appear slow to respond, at times, is my tendency to spend lots of time evaluating and thinking before making a decision.
Actually, the inner life of an introvert, which is fairly protected from outsiders, can be easily misinterpreted by others.
Here are a few examples of comments I’ve heard over my lifetime.
I was once asked by a high school teacher if I ever let anyone inside. Well, the short answer was “hardly ever.”
As a child, I was criticized by my father for not being friendly to some other kids in a group at a baseball game we attended as a family. Truth is, I didn’t know the other kids and struggled to think of something to talk about.
Another time, years later as an adult, I was told by someone that I came across as very guarded. Yes, that’s correct!
A supervisor once suggested I become more externally oriented to broaden my skill set as an administrator. That suggestion led to my term on the Chamber Board.
Career Choices
My early career choices reflected a deep desire for accomplishment. However, there was not always an appropriate match between by strengths and the jobs I selected.
For instance, I was in direct sales for several years. Although I got the analytical part down well, I did not match well on the needed interpersonal skills. As a result, I struggled personally and likewise we struggled as a family financially.
I spent some time in retail management.
Unfortunately, the salary I received never matched what I was led to believe was probable.
Regardless, I developed my ability to manage internal operations in that job. Those skills proved very useful when I became an associate dean years later. In that position, I managed all the internal operations of a business school, including budgets, facilities, and reaccreditation.
As expected, my mid-life move to academics was a much better fit for my personality type. Actually, I enjoyed the work.
Consequently, I grew dramatically during my years as a faculty member and an academic administrator. In addition, as a academic, I developed my writing skills that are proving to be useful now as I write a blog and create posts for LinkedIn.
Personal Development Activities
Over the years, my personal and professional growth activities included the following:
1). Reading a number of books related to growth and self-awareness.
2). Webinars on a variety of personal development topics.
3). Purposefully selecting and working with mentors and advisors.
4). Taking on lateral and upward short-term job assignments to build my skills.
5). A one-year fellowship where I got to see how a private university operates.
6). Study of the Book of Proverbs, journaling about that study, and a blog.
7). Times of reflection and goal setting to track where I was and where I wanted to go.
The move into academic administration in the last 15 years of my career pushed me to build other skills.
So, even as an introvert, I was able to build new capabilities that led to activities such as Board Chair of the Chamber of Commerce and, eventually, as dean of an 1800-student business school.
As dean I learned to raise funds, direct award ceremonies, and interact successfully with board members and others around me in the university.
Where To Now?
As planned after I retired, I’ve repurposed to sharing what I’ve learned over the course of my career. The outlets for that sharing are a blog and posts on LinkedIn.
The content for the posts is focused on the precepts from Proverbs. Therefore, each post contains a life or leadership observation, supported by a parallel precept from Proverbs or Ecclesiastes.
The blog posts also contain biographical sketches, often from the life of Solomon, but also from my own life – like this post!
Interesting, at least for me, is that I’m slowly building some relationships through the contacts I’m making on LinkedIn. So what? Relationship building is a big deal for an introvert! Those conversations, in the form of written comments on posts, cover a variety of topics.
And, believe it or not, some people – on occasion – actually say nice things about what I’ve written!
What I Learned
In short, learning about myself had a significant, positive impact on my career.
Being an introvert doesn’t mean I’m broken, thus in need of being fixed.
I have learned how to give back in various roles, based on who I am as my (mostly best) self.
Then, I coupled that very basic self-awareness with intentional professional growth, especially during the last 15 years of my career.
It’s important to identify serious gaps, then work to back-fill those gaps in order to prepare yourself for opportunities as they arrive later in life. In parallel, know where you excel, and push those capabilities hard!
That growth process has worked very well for me. Now, I’m learning new things, and new skills, as I write and share with others.