When we’re stressed we sometimes respond inappropriately. I’m the poster child for that behavior. Ok, I yelled! Let me explain.
You did what?!
Recently, in a meeting, I raised my voice. A lot! Ok, I yelled!
But why? I was making a point about how serious a current situation is. It’s negatively impacting the well-being of everyone in the organization.
Worse yet, the person I yelled at isn’t taking responsibility for his lack of performance in regard to expressing empathy. He’s not grasping how serious the situation is.
Instead, he’s blaming a handful of trouble makers who, in his view, are stirring up trouble. Thus, when my reasoning didn’t work, and when the complaints and cries for help failed, I yelled.
Was that necessary?
I’m not excusing my behavior. I recognize the importance of being professional, self-controlled, and discrete in my interactions.
Yes, I know better. And I doubt my yelling produced the desired change of heart.
What I do know, based on the calls I’m receiving, is that the disruption continues. People are expressing deep concerns. A few have chose to disassociate from the group.
As a result of the upheaval, I’m engaging outside expertise to provide mediation.
The Precept
In Proverbs 25.23 Solomon observes that an angry look, thus a stern response, can drive away someone who is argumentative, or speaking maliciously about others.
The precept here is that there must be a strong response to deal with bullying, a lack of honesty, or being two-faced.
As such, seriously disruptive behavior calls for a strongly-worded response.
Although we prefer the “soft answer” of Proverbs 15.1 when we’re on the receiving end, a measured response doesn’t always produce the desired and much needed change.
Apply This Today!
It’s important for us to have a variety of response patterns in our communication tool box. Certainly we recognize that self-control is a key aspect of emotional intelligence.
We can be diplomatic while also being direct. However, when we’re sitting in the seat of responsibility, we must not undersell or turn a blind eye to behavior that’s destructive and deceptive.
Don’t lose sight of your objective – – to produce change in the leader – – when a group or organization faces an existential threat because of that leader.
When speaking the truth to power, you may very well need to be blunt. That’s especially true when someone is refusing to carry out a most basic expectation of their job.
I’m Dale Young. My posts share the balanced life to build wise character and guide wise behavior.
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