Integrity can be costly. How so? Let’s examine some costs of integrity.
Doing Right – – Easy and Free!
We like to think that doing the right thing is easy. That is, we know what’s the best thing to do and so we do it. Similarly, we like to think that doing right is free. Thus, it doesn’t cost us anything.
Unfortunately, for both easy and free, the answer is No! Worse yet, learning that lesson can be hard.
What are some costs of integrity?
From my personal experiences, I’ve identified some of the costs of integrity. Here’s a sampling of what doing the right thing can cost us.
1). Hard Conversations: When we choose to do right we’re often pushed into some unpleasant conversations. How so? We must speak bluntly and forcefully – – to others and, at times, to ourself.
2). Broken Relationships: As expected, sometimes the response to that hard conversation is pushback. The other person may not believe us. Or, they may be argumentative and defensive. What you see as a matter of integrity they see as a simple, neutral choice.
3). Move On: When you take a stand for your personal integrity you run the risk that you will be at odds with others around you. They disagree with you. Thus, you are stuck with a harsh realization – – you no longer fit there. Consequently, you must disassociate from the group.
Why move on? Because of a fundamental difference in beliefs. You’re not morally superior, but you most certainly disagree with others regarding your beliefs.
The Precept
In First Kings Chapter 2 Solomon’s mother makes what sounds like a simple request. She asks Solomon to approve a marriage; see Verse 21.
Solomon is discerning enough to see what’s behind this request, Verse 22. Fact is, the source of the request was his older brother, who was scheming to take over as king, Verses 15-18.
In short, the requestor lacked integrity, whereas Solomon acted with integrity. Likewise, he responded forcefully, Verses 23-25.
This story, from early in Solomon’s term of office, is an example of how our integrity can pair with deep insight to protect us when our character, and thus our influence, are threatened.
Apply This Today!
Life lessons about integrity are driven by personal experiences. As such, that learning can be hard – – very costly to us. A reasonable response is: “Is this turmoil worth the costs?”
In Proverbs 4.23 Solomon encourages us to guard our character above all else because it’s the essence of our life. As such, our integrity is costly but also life giving.
Integrity comes with an On-Off switch. For better or worse, we can choose integrity when it’s convenient. However, there are serious consequences when we hit that Off button!
When these confrontations occur, are we being moved to some other, better place in life? Well, maybe Yes but maybe No. Hence, we must ask ourself: “What’s my integrity worth to me if this situation blows up?”
Here’s an added cost. When we take a stand for our integrity, don’t overlook the possibility that others close to us, for example in our immediate family, will also be affected by how things play out. Indeed, integrity is costly.
A Personal Note: I wrote this post based on a recent incident in my life. I felt like my integrity was being violated by the leader. I pushed back. Repeatedly. And I said to a group of my peers, in front of that leader: “For me, this is a matter of integrity.” Soon after, I choose to disengage. The pushback was immediate – – a broken relationship. In addition, there were strong concerns from some. There was dismay and disagreement from others. Some feel like I’ve quit and have abandoned them. Time will tell about the balance between costs and benefits for my actions, to me and to the group.
I’m Dale Young. My posts share the balanced life to build wise character and guide wise behavior.
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