Over time, we pick up some really bad relationship advice. What follows are some examples I’ve accumulated. Read at your own risk!.
What are some potholes or problems to avoid in relationships?
For starters, a disclaimer. I’m very likely the world’s least qualified person to comment on relationships! If you don’t believe me, ask my wife!
Avoid these tips!
That said, here’s a list of relationship problems I’ve accumulated, with a brief response for each.
1). This relationship is all about me, and my problems, and my viewpoint.
Well, NO it’s not! Instead, it’s really about both of us.
2). Having only a few friends is bad.
No, a select few, close relationships can be good.
3). I’m telling what you just shared with me.
Violating trust is destructive to any relationship.
4). Mom (or dad) is always right, no matter how the kids are treated.
That’s OK for mom and dad, but disruptive to others in that family.
5). This relationship isn’t repairable.
Well, maybe it isn’t. Or, maybe there’s another way forward.
6). You always. You never.
Sweeping generalizations will take you no where in relationship building.
7). Why can’t you…?
Because that’s not who I am, that’s why! Don’t violate yourself to accommodate demands from someone else.
From Ecclesiastes 4.9 we learn of the value of relationships. We’re told “two are better than one.” The following verses explain why, with reasons such as mutual support and defending each other. proverbsforprofessionals.net
An example
Here’s a simple example of how inappropriate relationship advice plays out.
I was criticized by my parents for not being outgoing enough. For not being social.
Specifically, for being too focused on what I was doing that didn’t involve lots of relationships and interactions.
The outcome? Well, I made career choices that simply didn’t fit my personality type or strengths. Why? Because I was trying to be that extroverted someone else!
Some Take-Aways
Don’t follow these examples of bad relationship advice. Why? Because they don’t work! I know that from personal experience!
Instead, look for ways forward in a relationship that are mutually beneficial. That’s the classic Win-Win outcome.