Here’s what the process of starting over looks like: in our mid-40’s, we added a toddler to our family. We were starting over when almost empty-nesters. What were we thinking?!
This blog post contains my personal LinkedIn entries for March 6 through April 2, 2023.
Give Yourself Some Slack!
Advice to younger self: you are never going to be perfect.
And, you’re never going to progress as fast as your unrealistic expectations demand.
So, back off a bit. It’s Ok to take a risk and to fail. Just get up and keep moving forward.
Today’s Observation: I was overly self-critical for much of my time growing up. The result was my poor self-image was a serious drag on how I progressed professionally and personally.
A Question: What practices help you to give yourself some slack?
The Precept: In Proverbs 28.20 Solomon praises being faithful, hence dependable, while condemning being in a hurry to get rich.
There’s an assumption here about “advice to my younger self.” We’re assuming my younger self would be willing to listen to, then thoughtfully consider, the advice! proverbsforprofessionals.net
Start Early on Personal Growth
Advice to younger self: the best investment is intentionality about personal growth.
That growth includes building self-awareness and self-confidence.
It means awareness of strengths, weaknesses, and personality type.
Today’s Observation: Personal growth means building emotional intelligence by becoming self-aware, self-controlled, and growing in awareness of those around you.
A Question: When did you start to notice measurable personal growth in your life?
The Precept: Repeatedly in Proverbs Solomon encourages us to focus on character transformation. See Proverbs 2.2, 3.3, 4.4 for example. He NEVER talks about native intelligence! Wisdom is heart insights, not head smarts!
In general, regardless of our stage in life, we’re able to absorb advice depending on our level of emotional maturity at that point in time. proverbsforprofessionals.net
I’m Responsible!
Advice to younger self: don’t be a victim!
Thus, don’t view life as something that’s happening to you – outside your control.
Why? Because life is something you’re living right now, if you’re present, hence aware of what’s going on.
Moreover, don’t blame others for aspects of your life you control. Instead, find a way forward.
Today’s Observation: Be proactive. You’ll build self-confidence and experiential insights. Better yet, you’ll have life successes to look on and say “I’ve faced worse and came out successfully!”
A Question: What’s one way you’ve found effective to be proactive in your approach to life?
The Precept: Proverbs 10.8 teaches that a wise-hearted person absorbs fundamental instruction while a foolish person is beset by failure.
Advice is experiential. It’s based on how life played out for someone else. Thus, advice is valid under a given set of circumstances, but not all others. So, make sure you discern how advice is likely to fit your circumstances. proverbsforprofessionals.net
Friday Short: The Value of Good Judgment
To behave wisely and make sense of things, develop good judgment.
To develop good judgment, learn to think critically, accept sound advice, and be discerning.
Why? Because wise behavior impacts life outcomes.
In short, this Thinking-Deciding-Acting progression is the essence of a proactive life!
The Precept: This fundamental life precept is drawn directly from the opening verses of Proverbs Chapter 1.
Consider the source of advice by asking: “Is the advice unbiased?” “Is it factual?” “Have they been where I’m going?” “Are there other factors that I must consider?” proverbsforprofessionals.net
Live Where You Are
Where’s the favorite place you’ve lived?
Often we envision some place from childhood.
Or, anywhere other than where we are right now!
But, there’s no perfect place.
There are, however, opportunities to find mutually beneficial relationships right where we are.
Today’s Observation: Joy in life isn’t from living in a favorite location, but from the relationships you build while living there.
So, choose to live where you are – right now!
A Question: What practices make you mindful, and grateful, so you can live where you are?
The Precept: Solomon observed in Ecclesiastes 6.2 that a life of wealth, influence, and having all we desire is empty if there’s no true enjoyment.
Instead of asking “What’s in it for me?” choose to live impactfully by asking “What’s in it for those around me?” proverbsforprofessionals.net
Connecting the Dots of Life
Last week I had two disastrous conversations.
In three days! Ugh!
No matter how I responded, things just got worse as the conversations wore on.
After reflecting for several days, I’m still clueless!
Today’s Observation: It’s tough to connect the dots of life when you’re unable to make sense of things.
A Question: What helps you to gain clarity when you’re at a dead end? I’m asking for a friend!
The Precept: Proverbs 14.12 suggests we can, at times, convince ourselves we’re right. But, the outcome is simply awful!
Resilient is part of who I AM inside. Persistence is what I DO because of resilience! proverbsforprofessionals.net
Choosing a Favorite
What factors make a place your favorite?
Some factors are:
1. A safe place for your family
2. Establishing deep relationships
3. Financial stability there
4. Having an impact in the lives of others
5. Opportunities for professional growth
Today’s Observation: Where we live is less important than growing while we’re there. Thus, personal growth can occur any place we live, if we so choose.
A Question: So, what are some factors that make a place your favorite?
The Precept: Thinking and knowing are inadequate for finding life purpose. We must pair knowing with character change. See Ecclesiastes 8.16-17.
Regardless of where we are, we grow best when we know our life purpose, then intentionally build capacity to reach that purpose. proverbsforprofessionals.net
Friday Short: A Success Formula
Desire Translated Into Vision
+ Intentional and Persistent Action
+ Diving Blessing
= Goal Attainment & Fulfillment
The Precept: The blessing of the Lord makes us rich. Proverbs 10.22 paraphrase.
Pair this with – Focused, decisive efforts make us rich. Proverbs 10.4 paraphrase
I must focus, focus, focus – else I will inevitably get distracted, distracted, distracted! proverbsforprofessionals.net
Learning By Coaching
Coaching can be a learning experience – for the coach!
I helped coach baseball for our youngest child for several years.
He was a very late addition to our family. So, all the other dads were about the same age as our two older children. But not me!
Today’s Observation: One thing I learned by coaching was persistence. If you fail, try differently.
Remember what you were taught. Get up. Try again. One bad game isn’t every game.
A Question: What’s something you learned from coaching or mentoring?
The Precept: Proverbs 24.16 teaches that our integrity enables us to keep getting up after multiple failures.
Our ultimate career reward isn’t a position or a title. Instead, it’s our influence with others from living a life of integrity. proverbsforprofessionals.net
Practice Isn’t Performing!
We can be good in practice – as an athlete, musician, or in any professional endeavor.
But, being good in practice doesn’t guarantee we will be good as a performer.
Today’s Observation: What matters is our ability to deliver under “live” conditions. That is, our ability to deliver results under real-life pressures.
A Question: What helps you convert successfully from practice to performance?
Coaching, hence leadership, techniques change. “We didn’t used to do it that way” will leave you ignored and frustrated as a leader! proverbsforprofessionals.net
Friday Short: A Reminder
The child you raise as a parent becomes the parent who raises your grandchildren!
An Observation: Similarly, as a leader, our “children and grandchildren” are the leaders we influence as they come up behind us.
The Process of Starting Over
In our mid-40’s, we added a toddler to our family.
We were starting over when almost empty-nesters. What were we thinking?!
We got comments about being grandparents!
An Observation: People in their mid-40’s need lots of energy to adopt a toddler! It’s true that adoption decisions are anything but rational.
Fact is, some of life’s best choices are not always rational, or risk free.
A Question: How do you approach decisions that aren’t clearly rational?
The Precept: In Matthew 25.35 we read “…I was a stranger and you took me in.”
I’m compelled by my best self to grasp what life offers. In fact, I’m most fulfilled when I’m engaged most deeply. proverbsforprofessionals.net