Is there a cure for bitterness? Perhaps not, but we should know that bitterness is a choice.
Difficult Experiences
We become bitter from life experiences that leave us fuming and resentful.
In Ruth 1.20-21 Naomi took the name of a bitter experience endured by the nation of Israel. “Call me Mara (bitter) for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.” Exodus 15.23 provides the historical background.
Indeed, life experiences that are outside our control can be embittering, Exodus 1.14 “…made their lives bitter with hard bondage …”, producing “…bitterness of soul” First Samuel 1.10.
Conversely, our poor choices lead to bitter ends, Proverbs 5.4 “…bitter as …sharp as …,” and Ecclesiastes 7.26 “…more bitter than death.”
We’re aware of, and know personally, the bitterness that’s deep inside of us, Proverbs 14.10 “The heart knows his own bitterness …”
At times, we’re bitter at our own failings; see Matthew 26.75 and Luke 22.62 “…Peter …wept bitterly …”
Sometimes, those embittering experiences take us to a better place – – a place of gratitude, Proverbs 27.7 “…to the hungry soul the bitter is sweet.”
Some hurts and abuses last a lifetime. Actually, the person who caused the pain may be unaware of what they’ve done. Or, simply may not care. proverbsforprofessionals.net
How We Respond
Our bitterness is visible to others, Acts 8.23 “…I perceive …you are in …bitterness …”
Worse yet, bitterness shows in what we say, Romans 3.14 “…mouth is full of cursing and bitterness …”
Bitter water is an end-times judgment, Revelation 8.11 “…many …died of the waters, because (the waters) were bitter.” Similarly, some insights are bitter, thus hard to swallow, like the contents of the little book in Revelation 10.9-10, which “…will make your belly bitter.”
Ultimately, bitterness reveals what’s deep inside of us, James 3.11 “…sweet water and bitter …” and James 3.14 “…bitter envying and strife in your hearts …”
As such, bitterness is evidence of our true character.
We’re warned about making excuses for the perverse, Isaiah 5.20 “…call evil good …good evil …darkness for light …bitter for sweet.” Thus, we first must be honest with ourself.
But, how do we fix the bitterness we carry around?
What To Do
We’re instructed in Ephesians 4.31 to put away “…bitterness …anger ….” Instead, we’re to replace those traits, Ephesians 4.32, with kindness and forgiveness.
The pattern here is to swap out the negative for the positive, thus make an intentional choice. That is, let go of the bitter thing.
Likewise, in Hebrews 12.15 we’re to be watchful about “…any root of bitterness springing up (to) trouble you …” Here, the focus is on self-examination and reflection. Why? Because bitterness can take root quickly if we’re not careful.
More specifically, in Colossians 3.19, husbands are told to love their wives and not be bitter toward them.
These teachings to put away bitterness, be watchful, and exchange love for bitterness tell us that we can turn from a bitter spirit.
Instead, we choose kindness and forgiveness. In so doing, we’re focusing on the other person instead of dwelling on our own hurt feelings.
That life event, that personal interaction, may very well be embittering. However, we can choose to leave that bitter place, and instead seek wholeness and restitution.
A Personal Note
I recently moved on from a very difficult personal issue that affected both me and my wife.
As part of the process of making choices about what’s next, I sought outside advice.
One valuable suggestion I received was: leave the bitterness behind me. That is, don’t carry bitterness with me to the next place I go.
Truth is, we can survive embittering situations by choosing wholeness in place of bitterness. “Don’t carry bitterness around with you” is wise advice.
Apply This Today!
Our responses to life events impact the person we’re becoming. Thus, we must choose wisely those things we hold close because we become what we focus on.
Bitterness is a choice that stops our growth. Worse yet, bitterness grows and spreads inside of us. The cure for that inner consumption is choosing kindness and forgiveness.
Naomi’s bitterness in Ruth Chapter 1 became a story of redemption and restoration in Ruth Chapter 4. Embittering life events, over time, reveal sovereign choices that are highly impactful, and that extend well beyond our narrow view of what’s possible.
We become bitter at life events, at God, and at those closest to us. In these cases, bitterness is an inner response to an external target. As such, bitterness is cultivated by the false belief that things outside of us control how we feel and react.
A Question to Consider
Is harboring bitterness worth the broken relationships and inner unrest?
Endnote: The Hebrew word mar is translated by words such as bitter, bitterly, and bitterness. In the New Testament, forms of pikros are translated twelve times by those same three words.
I’m Dale Young. My posts share the balanced life to build wise character and guide wise behavior.
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