We desire peace in our relationships. Getting there is challenging, so let’s discuss pursuing peace.
Why bother?
Being at peace with others is a worthy life goal.
We desire relational peace because it’s not rational to live in a constant state of upheaval, conflict, and anger. Relational peace is an aspect of a balanced life.
Thus, we should focus on pursuing peace. But, how do we get there?
Being At Peace
Peace with others is a deliberate choice we make, reflecting our spiritual condition.
Let’s examine four aspects of peace from the New Testament, using the verb eireneuo. See the End Notes in this post for other forms of that word. To pursue peace, we must be: authentic, realistic, flexible, and intentional.
Be Authentic
Christ taught the Twelve to have a servant attitude, Mark 9.33-35, and recognize what’s ultimately destructive, Mark 9.43-49.
Then, in Mark 9.50, He emphasized being authentic, saying that inside we should be salty – real, genuine, and honest. See Matthew 5.13 for a similar teaching.
In addition, in Mark 9.50, He pairs authenticity with being at peace with each other.
So, he pairs self-awareness with discretion in relationships. That happens as we pursue our life’s purpose – “salt is good”, focus on that purpose – “…have salt in yourselves…”, and value others – “…have peace one with another.”
Be Realistic
The last phrase of Romans 12.18 says to “…live peaceably with everyone.”
Interestingly, the middle phrase “…as much as is in you…” shows this capability comes from within us. As such, we cultivate living at peace.
However, the opening phrase “If it be possible…” suggests we’re optimistic about outcomes, while realistic about what’s likely.
Be Flexible
In Second Corinthians 13.11 Paul makes closing remarks in a letter. There he says “…be of one mind, live in peace, and the God of love and peace will be with you.”
Therefore, seeking mutual agreement by finding common ground facilitates our attitude of peace toward others.
Being flexible, we choose to agree on the essentials, not letting non-essentials divide us. One outcome is that we deepen our fellowship with God the Father.
Be Intentional
In First Thessalonians 5.13 we read “…be at peace among yourselves.” Like Second Corinthians 13.11, this is a statement Paul makes in his closing remarks in a letter to a church.
He’s assuming there will be disagreement, but we’re to be intentional about choosing peace.
We choose peace by recognizing what’s most critical in our faith walk. Don’t compromise personal safety or fundamental doctrine. Instead, pursue good.
We’re at peace with others because we know the “…God of peace…”, First Thessalonians 5.23. That divine relationship, according to First Thessalonians 1.1, brings us “…grace…and peace…”
Apply This Today!
Being at peace with others doesn’t preclude having hard conversations with them, First Thessalonians 5.13-14. Instead, choosing relational peace enables us to comfort others and to be patient with them. Peace is the foundation for personal ministry as we “…speak the truth in love…” Ephesians 4.15.
Living in peace requires a servant attitude. Peace comes from within us. Fact is, peace is a deliberate choice we make. Being a peacemaker demands that we look for common ground between ourself and others. And, that we release anger and vindictiveness. In short, that we’re open to respectful compromise.
Living in peace doesn’t mean we cease to be our authentic self. Or, that we endure abuse. Conversely, pursuing peace means we cultivate discretion and sensitivity toward others. In turn, discretion flows out of deep thoughtfulness and experiential insight.
It’s hard to be at peace with others when we’re at war with ourself. Truly, we need a sense of our self-worth before pursuing peace with others.
Proverbs 11.12 and Proverbs 17.28 teach that sometimes the best response is to shut up! In so doing, we exhibit experiential insight and discernment. Indeed, those are desirable traits for living in peace!
Ultimately, we enjoy the “peace of God”, Philippians 4.7 and First Thessalonians 1.1, because of a personal relationship with the “God of peace”, Philippians 4.9, and First Thessalonians 5.23. That divine relationship is possible because God has made peace with us, Colossians 1.20.
Some Questions To Consider
1). Proverbs 12.20 speaks of “…counselors of peace…” who push back against those who have a deceitful character. Similarly, Matthew 5.9 teaches that being a peacemaker is a source of life blessing because it shows we’re a child of God. That said, what are some necessary traits for being a mediator?
2). Hebrews 12.14 instructs us to “…pursue peace with everyone.” However, Romans 12.18 hedges “live peaceably” with “if possible”, suggesting that sometimes peace isn’t possible. What are some situations where peace isn’t possible?
3). In Romans 14.19 being at peace is paired with edifying others. The verse is in the context of not being judgmental or confrontational about matters of personal choice. What is it about being at peace that helps us build up others?
4). Proverbs 16.7 teaches that when our life pleases the Lord He makes our enemies be at peace with us. Thus, our life of faith and right living impacts our relationships! Ok, explain how our faith walk is a positive influence on our relationships.
End Notes
First Thessalonians 5.13 is one of several verses that instruct us to live in peace with each other. Ha, that’s easier said than done! In the New Testament, the noun eirene is translated “peace” over 80 time. That’s the root for the verb and adjective forms of the word.
The verb eireneuo is used four times, translated by phrases such as be peaceable and desire peace. Those four uses, three by the Apostle Paul, appear in Mark 9.50, Romans 12.18, Second Corinthians 13.11, and First Thessalonians 5.13. The word means to bring to peace, keep peace, reconcile with others, or be at peace, according to W. E. Vine’s An Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words. The verb eirenopoieo is translated “made peace” in Colossians 1.20. The verb eirenopoios is translated “peacemaker” in Matthew 5.9. Peacemakers are “…called the children of God.”
The adjective eirenikos is used in Hebrews 12.11 and James 3.17. In Hebrews, divine discipline yields the peaceable fruit of right standing and right acting. In James, divine wisdom is peaceable, but is also pure, gentle, flexible, merciful, fruitful, and authentic. It’s clear that being at peace with others is an outcome of spiritual transformation.
I’m Dale Young. My posts share the balanced life to build wise character and guide wise behavior.
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