Failing at multiple things doesn’t mean I’m a failure in life. It just means there are other things, different things, that I do well. I’m bad at one thing, not everything!
Recently, I was asked to write a story about one thing my children don’t know about me!
One story the children don’t know, huh? Seems like there’s an implication in the request that there must be something amiss. That is, I did something illegal or improper. Or, at least embarrassing.
Well, I’m not telling! You will never find out. End of story!
One story
Ok, one story. Years ago, when I was a college faculty member, I was involved in an activity for a group of international students. They were in the U.S. for a study semester away from their home country.
During the social time, the students wanted to teach the faculty members a dance from their country. Most likely, you will not be surprised to hear that I didn’t volunteer to participate in that activity!
Unfortunately, a female student came up to me and asked me to learn the dance. After several failed attempts, it became obvious to her that I was a hopeless case. I thanked her, she smiled. That’s the end of the story!
So, one story my children don’t know about me is that there’s a reason I don’t dance. Why? Because I never learned how. I’m really bad at it.
That said, I did dance with their mother, once, on a company trip to Acapulco, Mexico. It was a slow dance that basically involved me shuffling my feet slowly while avoiding, as much as possible, stepping on my wife’s feet.
From Proverbs 24.16 we learn that a good character enables us to fail multiple times, but still get back up and keep trying. That verse is a great picture of learning and persisting. proverbsforprofessional.net
The moral of the story
So what? I cannot dance. I’m also not good at bowling, fishing, hunting, fixing stuff in general, and tedious little nit-picky jobs that REALLY frustrate me!
Again, so what? The “So What” is that failing at multiple things doesn’t mean I’m a failure in life. It just means there are other things, different things, that I do well.
Things I do well include writing posts for LinkedIn and for my blog. And, previously, managing the internal operations of a business school. Plus, being a business school dean, including finding resources and raising scholarships from donors.
Being a lousy dancer isn’t/wasn’t the end of my productive life. Why? Because I found other things that I was good at.
Better yet, I ran with those other things that I was good at.
Failure vs. Failing
We become a failure when we stop trying. And, when we are unwilling or unable to learn from repeated failings. When we play the victim. Or, when we blame everyone else for our life challenges.
Failure is all about NOT living a proactive life that accepts responsibility for life outcomes while finding a way forward. Like it or not, we are responsible for our life outcomes!
Failing is a given in life. It’s going to happen to all of us.
What isn’t a given is the choice we make next. Learning and moving on is a choice. That learning process involves making sense of things, then adjusting our efforts.
In Proverbs 9.6 Godly wisdom calls to us. She asks us to give up simple-mindedness. We are encouraged to replace that simple-mindedness with sense making that’s an outcome of living a precept-driven life. proverbsforprofessionals.net
Some words about me
Finding things we are good at is an aspect of self-awareness. Thus, we should be deliberate in learning about who we are as a person. That self-study helps us discover our WHO – the person we are inside.
Here are some traits about me, based on an assessment I took late in my professional career. The exercise focused on my decision style and work practices.
Wins through persistence. Uses strong, steady tendencies to accomplish goals. Develops a routine; functions best when the routine is maintained. Can be skeptical. Usually steady, easy-going, and relaxed. Tends to be analytical. Needs time for study and analysis. Makes plans and follows those plans. Thinks over major decisions before acting. Once a decision is made, he’s tough-minded and unbending. Somewhat reserved with those he doesn’t trust or know. Viewed as considerate and modest. Motivated by logic more than emotion.
In Proverbs 21.22 we read that the wise find a way forward against long odds. That is, they persist in dealing with life challenges until they’re successful. As such, persistence is one trait of being wise-hearted. proverbsforprofessionals.net
Some Takeaways!
Failing at one or more things doesn’t make you a failure in life. Bad at one thing, not everything isn’t really so bad!
FAILING: a discrete event, isn’t FALURE: a life-style choice!
Know yourself. Know your WHO. More importantly, value who you are as a person. That knowing and valuing really aids in the moving-forward process after failing.
An important component of self-awareness is to recognize both your strengths and your weaknesses. We need to find ways to back-fill those weaknesses, for example, with other team members in a work setting. However, we must focus on those things that match our strengths as a person.
Pursuing our divinely-given life purpose may involve use of our existing strengths.
However, that God-given purpose, our WHY, may very well involve us developing other strengths and additional capabilities. Those new capabilities are an outcome of the personal and professional growth process. Remember, WHO precedes WHY.