A thoughtful approach to relationships replaces entitlement with gratitude. Therefore, deep thoughtfulness offsets entitlement.
The Value of Experience
Experience is a great teacher. But only if I actually learn something!
Unfortunately, some repeat the same mistakes over and over. Why? Because there’s no reflection, thus no accumulated insight to guide later actions.
In Proverbs 5.1, Solomon encourages an adult child to learn from the dad’s own experiential insights.
Why an adult child? Because the lengthy instruction that follows, in Proverbs 5.3-23, is hardly suitable teaching for a child!
Deep thoughtfulness offsets entitlement. But first, I must absorb insights from my experiences.
Entitlement
The story told in Proverbs 5 is about a married man who has an affair. Ultimately, the outcome is eternally ugly! See Proverbs 5.21-23.
Unfortunately, some become involved in an affair because they don’t think deeply about the possible outcomes.
Conversely, the second part of the story, in Proverbs 5.15-19, tells this man to enjoy the blessing of his wife.
Risk Taking
Why take the risks? Moreover, what compels someone to toss away years of work building a marriage?
Well, entitlement reasons that what I have isn’t good enough. In fact, I deserve more. Thus, I will go looking for something better.
Initially, what the entitled find sounds pretty good – on the surface! See Proverbs 5.3.
A Way Forward
However, Proverbs 5.1-2 argues that the way out of this destructive trap is as follows.
First, be a learner. He says “listen to me.”
Second, recognize the value of experiential insight. He also says “take advantage of the experiences I’ve had and the observations I’ve made.”
Third, think deeply before you act. That deep thoughtfulness overcomes entitlement. The outcome is interpersonal discretion built off a sound character.
Listen – Reflect – Think Deeply – Act Appropriately
Therefore, deep thoughtfulness offsets entitlement.
Leadership Insight
It should be obvious that leaders who are careless in their interpersonal relationships don’t remain leaders very long.
Why? Because “the rules don’t apply to me” doesn’t work any more. Likewise, “this is the way things are in our industry” doesn’t work any more either.
Thus, from a risk-reward standpoint, short-term pleasure doesn’t outweigh the long-term costs of entitlement and it’s corresponding careless behavior.
So, that’s it? The leader performs a simple cost-benefit analysis and then chooses a different course of action.
Well, no, because deep thoughtfulness causes the leader to consider the ultimate value of their marriage.
Additionally, deep thoughtfulness pushes a leader to consider the long-term value of their influence and legacy.
Finally, the leader must consider the impact of their actions on the organization, beyond this quarter’s P&L.
As a leader, it’s not about me!
Thus, think before you act isn’t just a worn-out phrase because the impact of entitlement is so deeply destructive. Therefore, deep thoughtfulness offsets entitlement.
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