Hard conversations are just that, hard. But, what are we willing to hear?
Hard Conversations
Some conversations are hard because they push us to look deep inside. And, to consider where we need to change. Thus, to admit our current reality, which isn’t sustainable.
In Proverbs 27.6 we learn that the “wounds of a friend” are faithful. Hence those hard conversations are dependable, valuable, honest, and insightful. Yes, those wounds hurt. Why? Because they force self-evaluation. We must ask “Is that really me?”
Close friendships feature conversations that both hurt and heal! Proverbs 27.6 paraphrase
Unfortunately, we can choose to discard insightful counsel, especially if we’re full of ourself, that is, full of arrogance and pride. On the other hand, to be a faithful (Hebrew Aman) friend, thus dependable and nurturing, is to be discrete, Proverbs 11.13, refreshing, 25.13, and direct, 27.6. As such, that which hurts is also needful.
Healing Conversations
Look what happens when we pair Proverbs 27.6 – a direct but discrete conversation, with the next verse, 27.7, which mentions a “hungry soul” and “bitter thing.”
The wound from hearing that bitter thing reaches into our deepest, spiritual self. But, when we’re desperately hungry, we’re willing to listen to the sound advice of a close friend. “Hungry” is the Hebrew Raeb – famished; see Proverbs 25.21 “… if your enemy is hungry …”; see .also Matthew 25.35 “… I was hungry and you fed me …”
Conversely, without inner hunger, there’s no desire or motivation to change. Most critically, there’s no admission that we’re at a dead end in our life! In like manner, the friend must have something of value to give away, as well as be willing to share what they’ve experienced.
However, when a “hungry soul”, Proverbs 27.7, hears the “counsel of the soul”, 27.9, the outcome – “wounds of a friend” 27.6, bring healing and personal growth.
Living with intention pairs receptive listening with hard telling! proverbsforprofessionals.net
Apply This Today!
Knowing wisdom positions us to be a faithful friend who is equipped to share deeply with others.
With the deep sharing of hard conversations, both individuals can have confidence in the other. Both are sharing freely. Only a few others, such as a spouse, are hearing these conversations.
Our impact on another person multiplies as we combine our own depth of personal experiences, sensitivity to the other person, and clarity about the desired outcome from the conversation(s).
A Question to Consider
What’s the appropriate motivation for pursuing a hard conversation with a close friend?
I’m Dale Young. My posts share the balanced life to build wise character and guide wise behavior.
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