Proverbs 7.1-7 speaks of being guided by precepts to build a just character. Then, I enjoy increased discretion. Thus, build character to build discretion.
Absorb the precepts! Make them your focus! As such, treat wisdom and insight like family. They’ll keep you out of trouble because they fix simple-mindedness and poor character. Proverbs 7.1-7 paraphrase
Why?
Why do I do such dumb things sometimes?
Although I know what I should do, why don’t I do what’s right?
I’m reasonably bright. But, I’ve made some really bad choices.
And, not just when I was 16!
What’s going on here?
Poor Character = Poor Behavior
So, the blunt answer to these questions, from Proverbs 7.1-7, is that I’m simple-minded and I lack character.
Well, that’s not what I wanted to hear!
Most specifically, this passage is about how I can build interpersonal discretion.
It’s ironic, to me, that the speaker uses the feminine gender to describe wisdom and insight in Proverbs 7.4.
However, the male gender is used to describe someone who is shallow and has a poor character, Proverbs 7.7.
Um … uh, I have no other comment on this observation! Let’s move on!
Seriously, my ticket into a discerning character is a precept-driven life.
Conversely, when I lack a discerning character, I make poor choices. The consequences, according to Proverbs 7.26-27, are serious.
A discerning character gives interpersonal discretion to avoid inappropriate relationships.
Just Character = Wise Behavior
Now, in Proverbs 7.4 wisdom and insight are called a close relative. Thus, treat them like a trusted mentor. In so doing, I move beyond the rational and logical, or what I know.
Instead, I intentionally apply wisdom. Then, I behave wisely, because I apply what I know to what I do.
But, those right actions must be accompanied by a right attitude because attitude outweighs good acts.
Together, wisdom and insight connect my character and my spiritual nature. As such, from the diagram below, I’m to engage my whole person in the process of growth.
Character Building
Granted, building a discerning character is hard work.
Consequently, it requires that I focus on the precepts.
Proverbs 7.1 and 2 use the word “command.” That Hebrew word mitzvah means moral imperatives given by God, thus the basic precepts for living.
In turn, those precepts bring me life insights. More commonly, mitzvah means a good deed. So, practical doing through application of what I know.
Most fundamentally, obeying these precepts helps determine the quality of my life!
Furthermore, character development, especially in the area of discernment, is a life-time process.
Specifically, according to John Maxwell, we are discerning in the area where we are gifted.
Similarly, as a leader, discernment helps me choose which practices fit my leadership style and which do not.
Where’s My Focus?
Now, the phrase in Proverbs 7.2 used to describe focus is “apple of your eye.” Also, the phrase appears in Psalm 17.8 and Deuteronomy 32.10.
Arguably, the phrase is subject to various interpretations. But, generally apple-of-your-eye indicates focusing my attention on something that’s precious to me.
Remember, we become what we focus on, so watch your character!
Leadership Insight
Unsurprisingly, the outcome of indiscretion can be fatal to a career.
News sources such as the Wall Street Journal regularly publish stories of executives being pushed out because of poor choices.
As an example, at the time of writing this post, the chief executive of a fast-food restaurant chain was fired. It came after a board investigation of a consensual relationship with another employee. In fact, the relationship was a violation of company policy.
Thus, inappropriate relationships are an example of a lack of discretion that often develops over time. However, leaders must exercise discretion in any number of other contexts.
Discrete Speech
For example, leaders must use discretion when choosing how to respond to media inquiries.
Why? Because speaking carelessly, and off-script, can be problematic for politicians and business leaders alike.
Similarly, lacking discretion in a response to a superior can be just as destructive to a career as indiscreet behavior.
Likewise, speaking out of anger or frustration or off-the-cuff, thus in the moment, never has a good outcome.
Conversely, I can choose character growth. Thereby, I balance knowing and doing. And, I position myself to avoid the problems that result from a lack of discretion.
In short, build character to build discretion.
That said, it’s not enough for a leader simply to avoid problems by exercising discretion. My just character as a leader must equip me to contribute to organizational objectives. Also, to the emotional health of those around me.
The Virtuous Progression
A precept-driven life produces discernment.
Interpersonal discretion is a key aspect of discernment.
Discretion protects me from the perverse logic that, consequently, produce poor decisions.
Sound decisions, conversely, yield wise behavior.
Personal Insight
Often, character is defined as what you do when no one is looking. Consequently, I build character through quiet reflection and deliberate choices.
However, I believe character development also occurs during daily interactions. Sometimes, those interactions are really unpleasant!
As such, I deliberately choose discretion, in part, by recognizing what’s ultimately most critical to me during those interactions.
For example, in a recent negotiation I dealt with someone who was, I believe, extremely confrontational.
Worse yet, the individual questioned my competence. And, provided out-of-date data. As well, they presented rationale that conflicted with past practice in our organization in similar cases.
How I responded
Yes, you’re only hearing my perspective. Although this was a one-on-one conference, I wasn’t acting alone.
Instead, the proposal I brought forward had been reviewed, edited, then re-edited by members of my leadership team.
I chose to side-step the competence question by presenting facts and asking what we could offer because my proposal was unacceptable.
However, the outcome, in my opinion, was not in the best interest of my business unit.
On one hand, I failed because the outcome didn’t accomplish what our leadership team desired.
On the other hand, I was able to use discretion to decide what was, and was not, an appropriate response at that point in time. Additionally, I kept the project marginally viable.
Three days later, I had an unrelated personnel conversation with the same individual. This time, the attitude was more constructive and the outcome was more positive.
Apply This Today!
Knowing the right thing to do and actually doing that right thing are two very different things!
As such, when I change who I am at my core, I’ll change how I behave.
The advice in Proverbs is to build a discerning character that’s fair and righteous. And, the foundation for that character is personal reverence.
Over time, building a just character brings discernment to exercise discretion. Thus, I’m able to carry out that which is most critical.
In turn, executing on what’s most critical requires that I discern what I value most.
Therefore, build character to build discretion.
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