Both parties must be deeply committed to the relationship and to each other. That’s how we can rebuild trust!
This blog post contains my personal LinkedIn posts for November 7 through November 27, 2022.
Some Bad Advice
I was criticized by my parents.
For not being outgoing enough.
And, for not being sociable enough.
Instead, I was focused on what I was doing that didn’t involve very many relationships.
Today’s Observation: I made career choices that didn’t fit my personality type or strengths. Why? Because I was trying to be that extroverted “someone else” who wasn’t me!
Relationships are good, but our career choices must match who we are.
The Precept: From Ecclesiastes 4.9 we learn the value of relationships. We’re told “two are better than one.”
The Question: Share an example of some bad relationship advice that’s gotten you into trouble.
I’ve learned that endings in life are opportunities when we recognize the “best thing” sitting there, waiting for us AND we have the faith and courage to grasp that “best thing.” proverbsforprofessionals.net
How We Can Rebuild Trust
Can trust be rebuilt?
In some cases, I believe, the answer is Yes.
How? Both parties must be deeply committed to the relationship and to each other.
Today’s Observation: The partner who violated the trust must confess and shouldn’t expect multiple chances in a really serious breach of trust (e.g., unfaithfulness).
The Precept: From Proverbs 31.11 we learn that trust is critical in a relationship such as husband and wife.
The Question: Do you think there’s a way back if a partner or employer proves to be untrustworthy?
I may be able to move forward – to resume walking – after a dramatic confrontation, such as a serious breach of trust. However, the damage may be so deep that I walk with a limp for a long time. proverbsforprofessionals.net
Broken Forever
When can trust not be restored?
Here are two likely cases:
1). The abuser refuses to change
2). The one being injured is blamed
Who does that? An abusive spouse or a narcissistic leader with no moral center!
Today’s Observation: I suspect that when one partner, or a leader, is a repeat offender, then trust is out the window for good.
The Precept: Proverbs 10.20 says a wicked character has little value.
A Question: Have you had experience with a self-consumed leader? How did you respond?
Self-worth recognizes that it’s good to say YES to your best self and NO to everything that doesn’t fit your best self! proverbsforprofessionals.net
How Did I Hurt You?
We can, and often do, say things that are deeply hurtful to others.
Often, to others who are close to us.
Those hurtful comments attack the integrity of the relationship.
What to do? The offender must take the initiative to restore the relationship.
Today’s Observation: The weight of personal attacks accumulates over time unless we are aware and take action to change.
The Precept: Proverbs 12.18 says our words can pierce like a sword. Conversely, a wise person uses words that heal. So, be a healer with what you say!
A Question: If you are a bit clueless, like me, how do you find out you have offended someone?
We are influential – as a leader, a partner, or a friend – when we’re first humble enough to admit we’re not perfect, not self-made, and not self-sufficient! proverbsforprofessionals.net
Introvert Tip: Committed to Growth
Don’t allow introversion to block your growth.
What are some ways we can grow as introverts?
Be committed to growth.
Find a mentor. Or two.
Hold yourself accountable to growth.
Expect the transition to take some time.
See what others see – your strengths and weaknesses.
Recognize how others are influencing you.
Today’s Question: What activities have helped you to grow as an introvert?
Self-worth is essential because we go no where without it. But, with it we can pursue our life’s purpose. proverbsforprofessionals.net
My Shadow
We are a “shadow of ourselves” by being less than we could or should be.
Or, depending on the angle of the sun, our shadow pictures a much larger, thus more impactful self.
Today’s Observation: My shadow, a picture of my impact on others, can grow or shrink. I choose.
A Question: What practices intentionally build impact into your interactions with others?
Self-talk and self-perception walk along together. As such, my self-perception is a leading-edge indicator of my self-talk. So, I should watch the tone of my self-talk. proverbsforprofessionals.net
Why Self-Honesty?
I must be honest with myself, and know myself, if my relationships are to flourish. Therefore:
1). Know WHO you are.
2). Value WHO you are.
3). Discover your WHY, your life purpose.
Today’s Observation: The foundation for my ability to build effective relationships is clarity about WHO I am. If I don’t know myself it’s hard to know anyone else.
The Precept: Proverbs 22.24-25 warns us that we can pick up bad habits from others, so be careful about how, and with whom, we build friendships.
A Question: What criteria do you use for deciding on relationships?
If we wait until we believe we are perfect to take action we will never take action! So, don’t be driven to inaction by your own unrealistic expectations. proverbsforprofessionals.net
The Essence of Wisdom
Wisdom, at its core, is the ability to learn from and then share experiential insights.
Conversely, wisdom isn’t native intelligence or common sense.
Today’s Observation: Wisdom building involves the hard work of applied learning. It’s not enough to know some facts. Instead, I must be able to apply what I know. Thus, I create a balance between knowing and doing.
The Precept: Proverbs 2.6 explains the divine gift of wisdom in terms of knowing and deep insight. Knowing alone implies I’m inexperienced, thus in need of the experiences life provides.
A Question: What practices enable you to convert life events into applied learning?
For me, success means being my authentic self as I grow toward attainment of my life purpose! That’s the essential outcome of building experiential insight. proverbsforprofessionals.net
Defining Influence
We are influential, as a leader or as a friend, when humble enough to admit we’re neither self-made nor self-sufficient.
A Question: How do you define influence?