Self-control is an important trait for a leader to develop. A precept-driven life produces in me discernment so that I can respond with subtilty and thus self-control. Actually, subtilty accompanies discernment.
Developing Subtilty
All of us can improve in our ability to be more discrete in what we say and how we act. But how?
First, one way to develop subtilty is to learn from experience. Hence, the deep value of experiential insight.
A second way is through intentional personal growth. For example, I take a personality test to help improve my self-awareness. Likewise, reading, podcasts, and conferences are outlets for personal growth.
Third, I believe reverence, study of the precepts such as in Proverbs, and prayerful application of those fundamental truths is another path toward subtilty.
That’s certainly the model presented in Proverbs 8.1-5.
Subtilty Defined
The Hebrew word ormah is used three times in Proverbs: 1.4, 8.5, and 8.12. In all three, the word has a positive meaning. In fact, it indicates subtilty, shrewdness, and good sense.
Additionally, in each case, subtilty is an outcome of intentionally becoming precept-driven because of choosing to know wisdom.
Subtilty in Action
According to Proverbs 8.5 subtilty is a cure for shallow-mindedness. Thus, when I build discernment into my life, one outcome is subtilty. And, that discerning subtilty helps me work around my shallow-mindedness!
Unfortunately, the verse also notes another fatal trait. Foolish over-confidence. The cure? A discerning character.
Once you get to Proverbs 8.13, that foolish overconfidence has turned into pride and arrogance.
Thus, it’s dangerous to ignore life basics. Those precepts include deep thoughtfulness and a just character.
Conversely, as I intentionally grow, I find that subtility accompanies discernment.
Leadership Insight
Recently, a university president was released by the board, without explanation. Months later, as a result of an open records request from a newspaper, the rest of the story unfolded.
As it turned out, the president had been accused of being overly aggressive with a staff member. The outside investigation revealed a pattern of behavior rather than a one-off occurrence.
Despite a denial by the president, the firing stood because high performance didn’t offset the lack of subtilty in communication.
Three Takeaways
What can we learn from this incident?
First, in the heat of the moment, leaders may respond in a way that lacks subtilty. The leader may not be aware of those indiscreet responses.
Second, how I think I’m communicating as a leader is much less important than how my communication is perceived. This seems to be especially true when there’s a significant power differential between the leader and the staff member.
Third, the pressure on a leader to produce, to move forward, to reach goals, is relentless. Thus, without the counter-balance of discretion, a leader can, at times, easily push too hard.
Subtilty is a Choice
That said, isn’t it true that some lack the insight to grasp what’s really critical? In addition, aren’t some so shallow that they’re unable to understand a rational argument?
Unfortunately, Yes. However, the leader still doesn’t get a free pass to react in anger and frustration.
A leader must be self-aware enough to exercise discernment about his or her reactions. And more importantly, discern how others are perceiving those reactions.
Following awareness, the leader chooses to show subtilty in responding.
Subtilty accompanies discernment. Moreover, subtilty is a conscious choice I make as a leader.
Thanks for visiting. If you have any questions or comments, please contact me: larrydaleyoung@gmail.com