We know that relationships are easy to break but hard to fix. Ugh! Let’s wrestle with that!
How did we get here?
So, how do we damage a close relationship? By a careless word, a breach of trust, or a misunderstanding. Unfortunately, there are lots of ways to damage a relationship.
Ok, a relationship with whom? The relationship may be with a spouse, a friend, a coworker, or a neighbor. More broadly, the relationship may be with a customer or even another nation.
The affront could be accidental or intentional, but in either case it is equally damaging.
Can relationship damage be repaired? The short answer is Yes, but expect the process to be challenging.
Some hurts and abuses last a lifetime. Actually, the person who caused the pain may be unaware of what they’ve done. Or, simply may not care. proverbsforprofessionals.net
How bad is this?
Proverbs 18.19 expresses the depth of the problem flowing out of an offensive word or action, using wording like “,,, strong city ,,, bars of a castle.” The offended party becomes closed off like a city under siege.
This proverb uses Sow-Reap as the mental model. Thus, when we sow an offense we reap contention in the form of a dispute, argument, or quarreling.
The level of emotions in the arguments returned from the offended party are a signal or gauge of the amount of relational damage we’re dealing with.
Repairing a relationship after offending someone is no small task. Proverbs 18.19, paraphrase. proverbsforprofessionals.net
What’s an appropriate response?
Taking the position as the offending party that “I’ve done nothing wrong” leaves you nowhere but right where you are. Equally as ineffective is saying: “My intentions were good.”
If we assume the relationship was of great value before the breach, the offending words or actions come at a very high price. Therefore, we must ask: “What’s my pride, in not reaching out to address this situation, worth to me?
Apply This Today!
Relationships can be easy to break, but hard to fix. Hard, but not impossible!
Recognizing an offense, or a broken friendship, is the easy part. Reaching out in humility to make things right by finding a way forward, is where the difficult work of reconciliation begins!
Fixing a broken relationship is an example of a stressful conversation – necessary but unpleasant.
A Question to Consider
Explain why “I’m sorry, but …” is a self-serving way to word an apology.
I’m Dale Young. My posts share the balanced life to build wise character and guide wise behavior.
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