Thoughtful responses preserve friendships, hence the need for a process to handle conflicts between friends.
Handling Conflict
For a number of reasons, friends or neighbors have conflicts. We’re wise not to respond hastily, but instead to be self-controlled and thoughtful. Why? Because our haste or anger may backfire. We may not have all the facts. Or, we may say something regrettable “… neighbor has put you to shame” Proverbs 25.8.
Instead, begin with a one-on-one conversation “Debate your cause with your neighbor …” Proverbs 25.9. At this initial stage, don’t bring in a third party or mention what someone else has said. The rumors you repeat may be inaccurate or untruthful.
Where possible, address interpersonal conflict one-on-one. Proverbs 25.8-10, paraphrase. proverbsforprofessionals.net
How do things play out?
We begin by being self-controlled, which allows us to get the facts straight as we listen. But, what’s the outcome of the one-on-one conversation? Proverbs 25.8-10 doesn’t specify how the discussion plays out. What’s critical is to avoid statements that harm our reputation.
This type of a one-on-one seeks interpersonal reconciliation, as described in Matthew 5.21-24 “… first be reconciled to your brother …”
Unsurprisingly, this discussion process in Proverbs 25.8-10 is a subset of the conflict resolution procedure in Matthew 18.15-17 “… tell him his fault … alone … take one or two more …”
Although there may be a need for mediation later, begin with a personal conversation. Moreover, where possible, avoid legal proceedings, Luke 12.58-59 “… magistrate … judge … cast into prison …”
It’s foolish to persist in a conflict to the point where there’s no way forward because of deep damage to the relationship. proverbsforprofessionals.net
Apply This Today!
Where possible, handle interpersonal conflicts one on one, being deliberate rather than reactive and emotional.
Remember, our objective is to value and preserve relationships with friends and neighbors.
According to Proverbs 20.3, we build influence by having interpersonal discretion. In other words, we know when to walk away from a conflict, allowing a cooling-off period.
Peace is a deliberate choice. Being a peacemaker demands that we look for common ground between ourself and others as we release anger and vindictiveness. In short, we’re open to respectful compromise.
A Question to Consider
What practices have helped you address interpersonal conflict while preserving a friendship?
I’m Dale Young. My posts share the balanced life to build wise character and guide wise behavior.
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